The Important First Page

Below are my notes from the Children’s Writers of the Hudson Valley (CWHV.org) First Impressions: A First Page and Query Event. The following advice pertains to picture book manuscripts (the examples are my own).

1. The MC should be the first character introduced. Limit the characters on the first page to one or two.

2. The first few lines should answer some basic, but essential questions. Who is the MC? What does the MC want or lack? Where is the story’s setting? When is the story taking place?

In CHRISTINA KATERINA AND THE TIME SHE QUIT THE FAMILY by Patricia Lee Gauch, illustrated by Elisa Primavera the opening line answers the four Ws. MC: Christina Katerina, MC’s Want: to quit her family, Where: family’s home, When: quarter past nine on Saturday.

3. Does your story have enough set up? Are the MC’s wants clear?

4. Choose your kid-friendly details carefully. Unless it’s important to the story, we don’t need to know the MC has a barrel chest, lives in a tree house and eats worms. Leave room for the illustrator.

5. Narrator’s voice is also important. Make sure it has voice or personality.

6. Packing too much information into the first page can make scenes confusing and the first page boring. Avoid info dumps.

7. Is the story something a kid can relate to? Is it age appropriate? Is it new? Different? Does it entertain?

8. Is there some tension on the first page? In my earlier example, Christina Katerina’s opening line is full of tension. She wants to quit her family! Wow!

9. Does your story sound like a list rather than a narrative? Even alphabet books have a story. In HI, KOO! A YEAR OF SEASONS,  by Jon J. Muth, children learn about the four seasons, but in every verse there is a letter of the alphabet, starting with A and ending with Z.

10. If the story is written in verse, why? Is the rhyme forced to advance the story? Did the story get left behind?

There were more tips and dos and don’ts for the first page. The above are my highlights.

Rules for Querying Agents

 Always be professional and courteous when sending out query letters to agents. This will be your first introduction to the agent and you want to make a good impression. Below are tips to guide the newbie and refresh the seasoned writers.

 1. Address the agent formally by their last name: Mr. or Ms. Smith followed by a colon. You may address them by their first name if you have a relationship with that agent or the agent addresses you by your first name.

 

2. Remember your query letter is a business letter. Use spell checker, be concise, don’t ramble on about your story or yourself, don’t put yourself in a negative light (listing how many times you’ve been rejected), don’t use flowery fonts, do be respectful.

 

https://nathanbransford.com/blog/2020/11/how-to-format-a-query-letter

3. Follow the agent’s guidelines. If they want the query and X number of pages pasted in the email, don’t send attachments and vice versa.

 

4. Read their profiles to see what they represent. Don’t send genres they’re not interested in. You are wasting your time and theirs.

 

5. Don’t get cute or clever with the query letter. One writer turned the query letter into a question and answer format about the writer. The end result was the query letter was all about the writer and very little about the writing project.

 

6. Do try and highlight your writing voice in your query letter. This can be accomplished by taking text from the manuscript and using it in the letter. Text that is funny, witty or a clever turn of phrase gives the agent a taste of your writing style and hints about the story.

 

7. After you make your submission, do not call or email the agent pestering them if they received it, did they read it or when will they read it. Believe it or not, reading their slush pile is not their primary job.

 

8. Be respectful of their time. Their primary job is taking care of their current clients including tracking down royalty payments, getting submission packages ready for editors they want to query, reading manuscripts and making revision notes for current clients, negotiating deals with editors over current submissions and negotiating contracts once an offer had been accepted to name a few of their jobs.

 

9. When you receive a rejection letter, do not contact the agent complaining that they didn’t tell you why the manuscript was rejected it or how to make it better. 

 

10. If you receive a detailed revision request from an agent (multiple pages with thoughts, comments or suggestions on how to make the manuscript stronger/more marketable), you owe that agent the first look.

 

11. Know the acceptable word counts for your story. Don’t send a 2000-word picture book or an 80,000-word chapter book or middle grade. This is an instant rejection. You can find word counts online.

 

12. Pick a lane. For example, don’t write your story, intentionally or unintentionally, so it straddles the line between middle grade and YA. There are important distinctions between a middle grade story and a YA. 

 

13. Always be courteous and considerate of the agent’s time. Never insult, threaten, berate or belittle the agent. Being rude never works in your favor and agents do talk to each other.

Is Your Novel MG or YA?

One of the first critical decisions a novel writer must make is will it be a middle grade or a young adult? Knowing the differences will save you an enormous amount of time and inconsolable frustration. (Been there, done that.)

I wrote a 70,000-word YA and made several major revisions from whole novel critiques. The last revision suggestion was “it’s more of a middle grade than a young adult.”

Ok, I thought. I’ve heard that before, I can make the changes, it shouldn’t be so bad. Shortly after I started, I realized I’ll have to check and revise almost every sentence, delete scenes, change scenes and add scenes. It was a nightmare and I realized I would be rewriting the entire novel. (I have shelved that project until I can decide what to do with it.)

I’ve broken down the differences by category.

1. MG basics: Age of readers, 8 to 12; word count 30,000 to 50,000; age of protagonist usually 10 to 13.

YA basics: Age of readers, 13 to 18; word count 50,000 to 75,000; age of protagonist 14 and up.

2. Romantic relationships: MG: holding hands, having a crush, innocent kiss or first kiss and starting to like someone as more than a friend.

YA: character can be sexually active and relationships can involve deep feelings of love.

3. Language: MG: swearing should be avoided (even though that’s not real life). Your book could be banned because of profanity, parents won’t buy it and libraries won’t order it.

YA: swearing is more acceptable, but don’t do it gratuitously, in other words, is the swearing appropriate to the situation, the emotion that is being displayed, etc.

4. Violence: MG: brutal viciousness (stabbing, machine gun slaughters, etc.) are not acceptable in this category. Remember the reader is as young as 8 and in third grade. Your book will be banned or rejected by editors or agents.

YA: violence is acceptable, but it should serve a purpose not thrown in because you’re trying to make the book edgy or feel this will make it YA. YA books can also be banned for sexual content, language and violence.

5. Their world: MG: their focus is on home, family and friends and their place within that structure. They may engage in pretend play. They are dependent upon parents for transportation, money, food, clothing and shelter. Even if they have a part time job, they are not able to meet all their needs. They do not think long term, for example, what college do they want to attend, etc.

YA: they have more freedom, more experiences and more opportunities which means more decision making. They drive, they may drink, do drugs, etc. They may make poor choices because they are inexperienced in the real world of adulting. They start thinking about the future: going to college, what they want to do with their life, etc.

6. Interpreting experiences: MG: they will be having new experiences and new feelings that will be foreign to them. They may have trouble processing them and understanding them.

YA: when they have new experiences, they may be able to draw on a past experience to help them interpret the situation.

7. Language and voice: MG: simple sentence structure (not easy reader structure), but the sentences are not punctuated with a lot of asides and however and extraneous thoughts and are usually written in third person.

YA: sentence structure is more complicated, there can be multiple clauses and the sentence could be a whole paragraph. The voice is usually first person.

8. Ending: MG: these usually have a happy ending or end with hope.

YA: the ending can be happy or sad. Such is life.

If you’re writing MG, read MG and pay attention to the sentence structure, vocabulary, word choice and if using analogies, make sure they are relatable experiences to the MG reader.

The same applies if you are writing for YA. Read them. Study them. Pay attention to content, message, amount of sex, violence and language.

For my sources, here are some of my favorite craft books including SECOND SIGHT by Cheryl B. Klein, WRITING IRRESISTIBLE KIDLIT by Mary Kole and DIALOGUE by Gloria Kempton.

Insider Secrets of a Librarian

  1. Librarians love local authors and want to promote their books, usually through book talks, signings and even local author stickers on said books.

 2. Libraries will accept donated books by local authors. The conditions are the book must have a quality binding (no spiral bound bindings), be edited (no spelling or other grammatical errors) and individual preference (for example, if the librarian feels the book would be a good fit for their library). 

 3. If you write nonfiction, you would be wise to pay attention to the state curriculum. The curriculum does change and librarians find a shortage on books relating to the new curriculum. (Contact your librarian for contact names regarding state curriculum.) 

 4. There is usually a shortage of picture books relating to current social issues. For example, the Coronavirus or measles and why children can’t visit relatives or friends or go to school.

 5. Publishers won’t sell directly to the libraries. Books are purchased through distributors (Baker & Taylor), chains (Barnes & Noble, Amazon) and other consortiums. 

 6. After an eBook has been read by only 26 people, the libraries must repurchase said eBook if they want to offer it to the public. Side note: there are a limited number of digital copies /book available. (Who knew!)

 7. If seven people request a book (and the library system doesn’t own it), they must purchase said book. 

 8. Libraries cull their inventory by using the following criteria: condition of book, relevance of subject matter, educational value and why would anyone want to read it. You’ll find these books on the For Sale table. 

  9. Public libraries don’t ban books. They follow the ALA (American Library Association) rules which state libraries must allow the public access to all books, be open and free to the public. There is no censoring or restricting books from the public. 

10. When a book is not returned (stolen), the euphemism is “borrowed without benefit of card.” 

I want to thank Catherine Nuding, Youth Services Librarian at the East Fishkill Community Library for speaking at our local writer’s meeting.  Any misinformation is mine and mine alone.

 

GET A GRIP, VIVY COHEN! by Sarah Kapit

Vivy Cohen is 11 years old, loves baseball and her lifelong dream is to be a pitcher in the major leagues. The only problem is she has never pitched in a real game and is not on any baseball team. She is also autistic and goes to Social Skills group every week and sees a therapist weekly. She usually eats lunch alone.

Her best friend is her older brother, Nate, who plays catch with her in the park so she can practice her knuckleball. But Nate is dressing differently, smells differently and doesn’t have time to be her catcher. She wonders if he doesn’t like her anymore. But Nate has a secret that he is not ready to share.

Her parents are supportive, but her mother is overprotective. When she asks her parents to join a baseball team her mother is worried it may be too stressful for her. Sometimes when Vivy is frustrated or angry, she has a meltdown, a screaming or crying tantrum, she may also rock back and forth. Her mother relents and allows Vivy to join the team.

She is one of the best pitchers on the team and Alex, her catcher, becomes her best friend.

Her teacher gives the students a writing assignment. Vivy picks V. J. Capello, a famous baseball player. They establish a pen pal relationship and Vivy shares her thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Kyle, the coach’s son, bullies Vivy. She can’t tell her parents about the bullying because she is worried her parents would make her quit the team. She can’t tell the coach because who would he believe, her or his own son? With the encouragement of V. J. Capello, she figures out how to deal with the bully.

All is going well until she has a horrible accident on the field. Her injury has healed, but her mother forbids her to play baseball again. Her correspondence with V. J. Capello has soured. She doesn’t know why. She continues writing emails but deletes the drafts.

Her parents have a plan to allow Vivy to continue being a part of the team. She is on her way to realizing her dream and has made new friends, including a major league pitcher.

Themes: family, sibling relationships, bullying, friendships

Dial Books for Young Readers, MG, ©2020

Journaling to Improve Your Voice

We know, as writers, that voice is probably the most important quality of our writing. But, regrettably, it is the hardest aspect to understand, develop and explain. Some say it can't be learned, but I disagree.

Thankfully, we have tools and resources at our disposal to help us with our writing. We can correct our grammar and spelling by using Spell-checker, we can learn about point-of-view, plot, setting, tone, character development and other elements of writing by reading books and blogs on writing. Read books in and outside of your preferred genre. Read different authors. How is their voice distinct?

But, developing a unique voice requires work. Start journaling, write down your thoughts, what haunts you, what excites you, be honest in your writing, feel your feelings, read your work out loud, pay attention to dialogue, word choice and arrangement.

Closing thoughts: read more, write more.

https://scriptmag.com/features/what-it-is-writers-voice-and-why-cultivating-your-unique-voice-important

by Angela Bourassa

https://www.writersdigest.com/be-inspired/how-do-i-find-my-voice-in-writing

by Robert Lee Brewer

Should You Trust Your Narrator?

One of my favorite picture books is THE TRUE STORY OF THE 3 LITTLE PIGS! by Jon Scieszka, illustrated by Lane Smith. Besides the attitude of the wolf, the fun is knowing he’s lying, and for little kids who know the real story, they enjoy being in on the secret.

For adults, when they discover the author is using an unreliable narrator, they must question everything they thought they knew about the characters and the story. The story becomes more interesting. This literary device encourages readers to keep reading to discover what else the author is hiding and why.

THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN by Paula Hawkins uses an unreliable narrator. Rachel, the main character, also a drunk, thinks she witnessed a murder. As she investigates, she becomes personally involved with the case and entangled in the lives of the other characters. Can the reader believe a black-out drunk?

There are three types of unreliable narrators:

1. Deliberately unreliable: Narrators who know they are lying. They lie because the point of view is theirs and they can tell the story whichever way they want.

2. Evasively unreliable:  Narrators who aren’t aware they are lying. This can be the author’s way of telling a story so that it proves something or serves his purpose.

3. Naively unreliable: Narrators who tell the truth, but lack the information. For example, child narrators are truthful, but don’t understand the way the world works or understand the consequences of what they’re seeing or hearing.

If you use an unreliable narrator, make sure your narrator has a reason for deceiving the reader. Confuse the reader just enough so the reader doubts or questions the narrator;  is the author lying, and why?

Below is my source and a link to the top ten unreliable narrators.

https://blog.reedsy.com/unreliable-narrator/

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/jan/04/top-10-unreliable-narrators-edgar-allan-poe-gillian-flynn